Accountability
I know. This is one catchy blog post title. It feels like the beginning of a business lecture series.
Don't nod off yet!
One of the assignments from my course this spring was to write a book review. From our extensive list, I picked Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin, as the local library was able to source it on audio. What better start to the summer season than focusing on happiness? I listened attentively while I drove into work each morning slurping down my smoothie, juggling my oatmeal bowl and tea, or thinking through what might be on my grocery list to pick up during my lunch break so I wouldn't have to endure the slog through Price Chopper in my sodden shoes and soil encrusted clothing--- feeling like Charlie Brown's friend, Pig-Pen and his dust cloud at check out.
[Yes Jess, I know, I need to start getting my groceries delivered. It's oddly hard for me to find the time when I'm at home... maybe that's a problem for a different blog...]
By the end of second CD I wanted to wring the author's neck (well, I mean, I may have actually preferred to listen to the Brent Kavanaugh trial) as I tried to follow her methodical reasoning behind her habit forming techniques, each of which lend themselves nicely to a routine and highlight the central theme: "Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives." The irony being during this time in the spring, I felt like, I had, what felt like, no habits.
I was most intrigued by Gretchen’s classification people’s “Four Tendencies” towards Obligers, Upholders, Questioners or Rebels. Her vivid descriptions kept me occupied many an hour talking to my coworkers and friends about the power of outer versus inner expectations. [Shout out to Jenny, thank you for knowing me well enough to hold me accountable to this blog post.]
WIthout sounding like a Pollyanna, I'm sure this book would be a refreshing read for those of you looking to shake up your routines a bit… and, in the same breath, those of you working to hold onto the habits you love most in your lives. Gretchen’s wisdom is that happiness comes from the everyday. A great reminder as we get swept into our culture’s prevailing illusion of happiness as something that can be done on our next big vacation, purchased, or eaten. A challenge we are all faced with!
The concept of working towards successful habits in the everyday is a simple framework that is very much in line with nutritional therapy concepts. Gretchen does spend some time touting the benefits of cutting out carbohydrates for her family, which isn’t an nutritional therapy "approved" approach for all. Luckily, more than pushing the benefits of carb-free living, the book offers a helpful, if not somewhat e x h a u s t i v e outline of how people with different tendencies are able to have the most success transforming their habits.
If the listener is willing to patiently wade through the variety of concepts, classifications, descriptions, and analysis with Gretchen as she explores habits and how people change them, the reward is... life re-imagined. For those with less patience, it’s important to note that 40% of our behavior is repeated almost daily. Thinking about the ‘Pillars of Habits”: Monitoring, Creating a Foundation, Scheduling, and Accountability are all undoubtedly valuable. Rubin's habit forming mastery becomes murkier as she discusses in depth the best time to begin new habits, and the effect of desire, ease, and excuses, as well as personal identity, are analyzed. It’s clear there are many variables at play in habit formation (and happiness!). Maybe more than Ms. Rubin could possibly classify in one book.
Needless to say, it's important for us all to take some time to understand ourselves, our most powerful motivations, and the essentials that are (or are not) part of our established our daily routines. With or without Gretchen’s expertise.
Cheers to friends holding us accountable & the end of July!
- Em (a self-proclaimed obliger)
Want to learn more? Check out:
Better Than Before: The Mastery of Everyday Habits. Rubin, Gretchen. 2015: Crown Publishers: New York, New York.